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There is a point in time before entropy.
On the yellow couch beside a woman in burgundy and coffee
while music burns inside the bodies of the packed room and
steam levitate through the open windows.
I cannot hear her anymore although
her oral cavity is concentrated inside my ear.
I get up to find something more to drink.
The red cave is jammed with unfamiliar shapes,
scarlet, blue, brown, monochrome.
The red cave is jammed with unfamiliar shapes,
scarlet, blue, brown, monochrome.
I feel like a Zeppelin drifting peacefully among
all these irritating rapid machines.
Finally, I see some features that I know,
and surely there is a revelation at hand;
yes, a gin mill full of wine.
But I need to go to the WC.
The yellow couch is occupied by someone touching
somebody under the textile when I get back.
and surely there is a revelation at hand;
yes, a gin mill full of wine.
But I need to go to the WC.
The yellow couch is occupied by someone touching
somebody under the textile when I get back.
These treasured soul mates with shaved limbs.
© Anders Enochsson 2009


16 Reflections:
Ande,
Skitbra dikt. Den tar fram den slags packade (bokstavligen och bildligt) stämning man upplevde som tonåring. Ångande och naturalistiskt bildspråk.
Mr. Ande:
Very nice snapshot of an event full of motion and life.
I especially like:
"a Zeppelin drifting peacefully amongst/all these irritating rapid machines."
Well done, again.
Gray
Hej Ande,
Vad fan betyder "All wet, booshwashing with a bean shooter"?
Schyst dikt faktiskt. De där gamla sofforna stinker nog värre än gamla strumpor.
To be a peaceful Zeppelin gracefuly gliding through irritations otherwise known as turbulence and storms... Sounds like you have an inner calm that many would wish to have :)
all these replacements ...it was very unconfrotable for me . very realistic ...
good one !!
"I feel like a Zeppelin.." hit me the most! Brilliant Ande! Keep them coming!!!
Such a moving piece of writing... An interesting scene set, it transports the reader... And it has a real sense of feeling...
Maybe a little J. Alfred Prufrock under the influence in this one? That is, a social situation which seems to have devolved in a more disturbing direction.
Jenny - I tend to strive for social realism these days.
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Gray - Thank you. It's always heartening to get a good review from a poet like yourself.
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Jukka - There is nothing wrong with my socks!
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Jasmine - I sometimes wish I would be better at it. Life is pretty darn stressful sometimes, but someday I know I will learn how to ignore it.
Oh, well.
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Caio - Thank you, my friend for a fantastic compliment.
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Brosreview - Thanks!
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The Srybe - It took a heck of a lot of editing to reach that feeling.:)
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Artsparker - The word uncomfortable is just the beginning.
You are absolutely right.
Nice poem, I like the atmosphere here also, it reminds me a little of your last one, the same kind of style, related story also, but this somehow is more interesting more intriguing.
Take care A, keep writting
Thanks Mariana,
Yes, as usual this is not as straightforward as it may seem. I wanted to write about a coupple of people I know, and how I feel about them. And at the same time there are of course memories. The "I" in pomes is often just humbuug when it comes to expressing personal experiences, I think.
Excellent work, my man.
peace,
Chuck
Ooh, so descriptive. And, ah yes, the treasured soul mates that sometimes last only for a night.....
Chuck - Thanks!
Lydia - Yes, they are dearly connected for a short while.
Its better than nothing.
it sounds as if you've vistited quite a few gin mills, dude. don't take it personal.
p.s: suggestion of change: rest room instead of WC.
Well, Mule. In Europe people says WC.
Oh yes, ginmills. however too few.
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